Lost and found

February 12, 2012
I got a new calling at Church. Second Counselor in the Young Women's Presidency.

When I came home to find two members of the Bishopric waiting for me in my living room, I figured they were here to see if I'd teach Primary again. Boy, was I surprised. My first thought was honestly, "Is Heavenly Father joking? It's not enough that I'm going to screw up my own two kids' lives but now He wants me to screw up other people's children?" Then I thought, "I really am that old. And there's no way I can do this... I am frumpy, uncool, and definitely not crafty/creative enough for this job."

I kept thinking about my own Young Women leaders. I'm not sure there are words to even describe how much those women meant and still mean in my life. I wondered what it was about them that made such an impact on my life. It suddenly dawned on me. They loved us unconditionally. They sacrificed time with their families and jobs to be with us each week. And more than one was absolutely horrified by the idea of sleeping in a tent or using a latrine while camping and yet they still went to camp with us year after year after year. I honestly am not sure I can love these girls as much as my leaders loved me. It seems impossible. I feel completely overwhelmed and definitely not cool enough for this journey.

After getting set apart (that was an adventure with Cole who wanted nothing to do with an extra 45 minutes of Church), we walked out to the car. On the ground next to the passenger door was an earring. My earring. I had lost it almost two weeks earlier when I'd come to a funeral. One of the ladies I go Visiting Teaching to had lost her son to suicide. I may suck as a Visiting Teacher, but just days before I'd told myself it was time to stop being so selfish. I needed to serve others more, get out of my own problems, and make a bigger effort to be better especially with the women I am supposed to visit each month. Going to the funeral and baking a cake for her family's luncheon afterwards seemed so small. When I got home that day, I realized I had lost my earring somewhere between home, work, the funeral, lunch, back to work, and then back home again. I mentioned to Jeff that I'd lost my earring and to look for it in the truck (we hadn't even taken the same vehicle to church today so I know it didn't just suddenly fall out or anything like that). I never found it. And I know it was not on the ground when we got to church.

I'm not really sure what this all means except that in that moment when I saw my earring sitting in the parking lot, I knew Heavenly Father was mindful of me, my insecurities, and my desires to be better.

A small, tender mercy from the Lord.