The sunflower

March 16, 2012
I often complain about all the meetings I have to go to for work.

But every once in awhile, those meetings change me in a way I can't describe. Like today.

I had the blessing - and yes, it was a blessing - to attend a grief and bereavement workshop for professionals sponsored by The Bradley Center. The Bradley Center provides peer-group, interfaith grief support for children and families, offering a safe and supportive place for hope and healing. You can read more about The Bradley Center's philosophy here, here, here, or here. I figured it would be a good training to prepare me for doing our fifth teen memorial book - a collection of stories from parents who have lost a teen in a motor vehicle crash last year. It's an amazing and emotionally draining project.

But I soon figured out this wasn't going to be just another training. Not only was the setting very appropriate and humbling in it's own right... the workshop was held at Primary Children's Medical Center where angels work and walk in the halls! But the incredible journey the founders of The Bradley Center was going to play out front and center. Carrie Moore, the Executive Director and founder, lost her husband in a plane crash 16 years ago. You can read newspaper articles about the plane crash here. Eight men, all husbands and fathers, were killed when their plane crashed near Malad, Idaho, leaving 17 children behind. Carrie told us they estimated the plane hit the ground at over 800 m.p.h. leaving a huge, black crater behind with nothing else. They didn't know it at the time, but one of the men had sunflower seeds with him. The next fall when she went to the crash site, the mountainside was covered in sunflowers, just like the ones on our tables. The farmer who owned the field told her there had never been sunflowers there before. Her message to us was to remember that out of something so dark and horrific, can come something beautiful. And that's why she started The Bradley Center. My simple words can't even begin to do justice the amazing Spirit that was felt at that moment. It sent chills up and down me. I cried. The Spirit was there and so strong.

And then another twist. One of the speakers, a graduate student from BYU, was one of the 17 children left behind. They didn't realize this until she got to the conference and Carrie recognized her. This amazing young woman lost her father to cancer and then less than two years later, lost her stepfather - who was the pilot - in the crash.

Just when I thought I'd collected myself from the first half of the day, our last session was a panel discussion with families who have lost a child or spouse. It was incredible. I want to write about all their stories because each one touched me in such a strong way but I can't. It was all I could do to hold back the tears. A surge of emotions overcame me, what would I do if I lost Jeff or my kids? Guilt over screaming and yelling at Pearl all morning because she was tired and refused to eat or get dressed or go to school. I felt overwhelmed, grateful, humbled, shame, remembering losing my Grandma and almost losing my sister.

This was one meeting I am so grateful to have attended. It was an amazing and humbling experience. And if anyone needs help or knows someone who needs help with the loss of a loved one, I know The Bradley Center is inspired of God.